The One Rule and exploding piñatas.

EDIT: New look for the blog! Looks cleaner now. :)

That's right. Exploding piñatas. Read on to understand how this all comes into play.

I'm back in school, as I already mentioned, and a lot of things have happened in the past week, notably:

1. I began hating my philosophy teacher with a passion that I can actually explain;
2. I got pissed that my schedule didn't fit with Slim's and concorded more with Guy's, whom I still like but not, you know, as much;
3. I got pissed that Slim was giving me the cold shoulder for no fathomable reason;
4. PB, Alex and Ban did cracker choking contests;
5. I was hired as a volunteer to rewrite a school play for next year, which completely throws me because I'm not even close to being the play's original author;
6. My brother celebrated his 16th birthday... with an exploding goo-filled piñata;
7. Bass (I strongly suspect) got a girlfriend and is no longer harassing me;
8. I downloaded a few of Twilight Princess' sound tracks, which fill me to the brim with much joy;
9. I debated the One Rule and was elated to find out Slim wasn't directing the cold shoulder at me in particular and apparently had his reasons.

First off, my philosophy teacher convinced me today, in class, that he was a complete whack job. I sort of suspected it from the start with his Extra-Soft Voice of the Insane Mind and his Jesus-like looks. He also has more vocabulary than all my other teachers put together, which is obviously a sign that he has spent too much time in university and that it made his brain into a puddle of mush.

Also, a teacher who uses sexual, scatological and nose-picking references to illustrate the basic principles of philosophy is inevitably a nut.

Secondly, I already mentioned that Slim and I share no classes together, which is nothing new but still winds up being rougher than last term for the plain reason that we don't have as many common breaks anymore. I wind up having more breaks with Guy, whose humour managed to keep me upbeat but not overly happy. He's an extremist in many things, so if he decides he likes you, he'll be good to you 'til the end, but he's a bit of a slacker who thinks of himself as a genius. I don't mind, because he's entertaining, but he can sometimes be a real prick.

Thirdly, speaking of pricks, in the whole first week, I had to deal with seeing Slim merely here and there, thirty seconds at a time, and he made his rare company undesirable by being cold-shouldered, basically ignoring me and a few others without reason to favour his closer friends, like PB and Guy. The thing is, I've never done anyhing to piss him off, so why he wouldn't have the decency to just say hello and goodbye as usual was a mystery and was rather hurtful.

Anyway, rather than endure that sort of treatment, I decided, "Whatever, I'll just stick to the others. Like Guy. He can be a prick, but at least he's not systematic about it." Which lead me to stick my chin up and just have fun.

So, fourthly, I sat yesterday with Alex (Kitty's boyfriend), PB and Ban (a Mexican Wii fan), and they were scarfing down soda crackers straight out of the bag. Alex, being a total moron where dares are concerned, decided that it would make sense to put a cracker in his mouth and crunch it to tiny crumbs in his mouth, then take a sharp inhale of breath, which would get a lot of crumbs stuck in the back of his throat and make him cough them back up, lest he choke.

When we all laughed at his stupidity, he grinned and incited PB and Ban to join him on the pursuit of Idiocy. Sadly, they did.

By the time the bag of crackers was done with, a thousand crumbs had been scattered all over the table, a result of their constant chokings. But they were red-faced and laughing.

I strongly advise against doing this yourself. It is pure lunacy and looks very inelegant.

Fifthly, I was hired by surprise by Guy to rewrite a grade ten school play which he, Josie, Alex and another girl had written and acted out for French class as part of an assignment. The play had been, at the time, a rousing success because it was spectacularly absurd and brilliant at once, and they'd filmed it. We had spoken of rewriting the play to make it longer, add more than its original four characters, and basically make it into a theater length play rather than a school assignment.

I didn't expect, of course, that Guy would give me full rewriting rights to that play, with the simple command to upgrade it into a seven-or-eight character gig. Does that make me happy? Yes and no. Yes, because it would be amazing for that play to work once more and to see the gang put it on, and no, because I wanted to focus on more fanfiction.

The play is due for the next term, so it's not in a rush, but the planning will be difficult. I want it to work, though, because I know that Guy, Slim, PB, Josie, Alex and a few others are willing to play the roles in it. At least I have carte-blanche, more or less, on every aspect of the story. That is just plain cool.

Sixthly, though my brother's birthday was actually last weekend, he invited his friends over today for a rousing party. His friends and he are a tightly-woven band of boys who pretty much grew together and did all their stupid stunts together, including but not limited to burning a Pikachu stuffed toy.

Of course, today they'd decide, in my brother's honour, as he's probably the pack leader, to buy a piñata and fill it with something, then whack at it with a stick in the park near our house. And what better filling for a piñata but a lovely pile of home-made goo (what happened to candy fillings?)? They had considered Jell-O, but goo made of water, corn starch and green colouring seemed like a better idea. So they trudged out of the house in the middle of the afternoon, into the biting cold of January (roughly -20 deg.Celsius) to knock the piñata around. And film the whole thing.

They came back with their coats covered into frozen, green corn-starch all over their winter coats and the silliest grins you ever saw. Because they'd turned the whole thing into a goo fight. It was kind of funny, I'll admit.

They didn't bring the piñata remains home, choosing instead to make it explode then burn. With firecrackers.

Boys.

Seventhly, Bass has a girlfriend! He has moved on! He isn't giving me the cold shoulder! All is as it once was and as it was always meant to be! Joy to the world!

Eightly, I downloaded The Hylia's Sort-Of Wannabe-Official Twilight Princess OST (they don't call it this way― I do). Some tracks are poor quality, having been ripped from the game screen, some come back more than once, but a lot of them are excellent quality, which is great to distract me while waiting for the real thing. Because there's nothing better to soothe one's nerves than to listen to the Credits Part 1 over and over again. Such a beautiful piece of music. You should try to download it. It's so awesome.

And finally, I was convinced today that things with Slim would no longer be as they once were, since HE was giving me the cold shoulder, as if to compensate for the fact that Bass wasn't. I'd come to school with the firm conviction that I would not, I repeat, would NOT, let his behaviour get to me. I was above all that and I wouldn't let him hurt me, even if it did anyway.

It kind of figures that I'd come into the cafeteria for my lunch break and see him sitting alone with Josie and Kitty, the latter two who were discussing whether one of Josie's new skirts was slutty or not with more animation than you'd believe.

See, we girls have this One All-Mighty Shopping Rule that no skirt should be larger in the waist than it is in length. That is our only purchasing rule. So, of course, Josie was worrying, "CM, has this skirt crossed the Slut Line??"

And Kitty was shaking her head, even as I sat across from them, "CM, tell Josie her skirt is against the Rule."

Officiously, because bending the Rule is serious matter, I say, "Hand me the offending skirt." When Josie and Kitty hand it to me with feigned concern, I took measures with my forearm. Then, handing the skirt back to Josie, I said, "This skirt is a notch too short, Josie, and risks exposing your butt size, as well as the colour of your underwear, should you choose to spare us and not go commando."

She looked appropriately distraught. "Oh my god. This skirt is slutty."

Kitty looked sympathetic, then said, just as officiously, "We will make an exception, as this skirt has already been purchased and offered to you by a person who does not know the One Rule. But make sure not to repeat this mistake in the future."

With that, the serious act became too much and we dissolved into giggles, under Slim's skeptical but still amused gaze.

That's when I figure I can't just ignore Slim, because, um, he let his hair grow just a tad longer and now he looks good to eat. So I turn to him and say, "Hey, Slim! The last time we had a real talk was, like, weeks ago!"

He nods solemnly, glancing back down at a music sheet booklet for experienced drummers. "It was."

"Hand me your schedule, so we can see where else we have common breaks."

He has one earphone in, and is studying a book about drumming, tapping his fingers against the table to the beat. His eyes rise to look at me blankly, and he doesn't answer. This is usually my cue to say something along the lines of mockery.

"Ahoy, Slim, did you hear what I said?" I know he did, but he lowers his eyes back to his book again, still expressionless. "Slim? Sliiim?" I grin, because I know he can hear me without any trouble. "You know, Slim, I could ask for the most outrageous things right now. I mean, since you can't hear me or anything. Would you hear if I started insulting you?"

At this, he doesn't raise his eyes, but his lips break into a wide grin, and he nods without a word, then he looks back up and I repeat my inquiry, feeling, for the first time in a week, that whatever mood swing he was in of late won't be hitting me full force again. Kitty and Josie, meanwhile, have launched into another heated debate about clothing sizes.

He fishes his schedule from somewhere in his back pockets, and says, with a prideful grin, "Look. I was smart and organized my upcoming project plans and everything."

I see that he has and give him a benevolent smile. "That's very responsible on your part, Slim."

"I know," he says, his eyes twinkling with a hint of amusement. "You're in awe of me, aren't you?"

"I am," I say. " ... Hey, we don't have any breaks together except on Fridays, and that's only if you come early like you did today!"

He looks solemn. "Crap."

We then launch into a heated conversation about what kind of crap CDs he'd been suggested to purchase, and he samples a few songs off his CD-player again. He seems, by all means, back to normal, and even friendlier than usual. What put him in such a good mood is a mystery, but hey, I'm not going to complain.

When the time comes for him to go to class, I'm left to talk with Alex, who joined us, and then I also have to go to Philosophy class (murder!).

By the time the class ends, it's late afternoon and I'm reluctant to head home (goo piñata insanity, remember?). I grab my coat and trudge into the school's entrance hall and sit on a chair, contemplating what to do. Head home now or skip this bus and wait half an hour for the next one?

That's when I see Eva, who comes up the stairs, looking ready to go. She owns her own car, so she's pretty much free to roam all over the place at will, whereas some of us are still bound by public transportation schedules. Anyway, Eva spots me and comes over. She seems sympathetic to my anguish.

And then, Slim comes into the lobby, clearly having just finished with his journalism class. He greets Eva and I, then heads downstairs to fetch his own coat. Eva bids me farewell and good luck, and I'm left to wonder still. I glance at my watch. Apparently my deliberating made sure I wouldn't have the choice but to catch the next bus. Oh well.

Slim comes back into the lobby with his coat and scarf. He walks up to me, slouched as I was in my chair, looking into space forlornly, and asks, "Eva's gone?" More out of politeness than out of actual concern.

I nod. "Yeah. Some people have more cash flow than me."

He seems to understand. "So... you're waiting for the bus?"

I nod. "Yep. I missed this one because I don't want to go home. My brother and his friends want to fill a piñata with goo and make it blow up, and I don't want to be there for it. I'm pushing back the fatal moment."

He smirks at the piñata part. "So when does your bus go?"

"Twelve past four, so I have roughly twenty minutes to kill. When are you leaving?" I know he shares a car with his older sister, but I don't know if he came with the car this morning at all.

"In... twenty minutes. Dad's coming by to pick me up." He shoulders his bag higher. "Wanna come chill in the cafeteria while we wait?"

I'm a bit surprised, but I smile. "Sure."

This is going to seem fangirlish, really, but... Slim and I talking one on one for twenty awesome minutes! Too good to be true, and yet it happened! We discussed our favourite drinks and desserts (does it come as such a shock by now that we have the same tastes? I didn't think so) as well as his recent annoyance at Guy, which I strongly suspect was why he was being so cold of late.

"Guy has an ego," he said. But then he lifted a warning finger and said, "I'm not talking in his back!"

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and said, "I never said you were. What's up with him?"

He looks a bit annoyed. "He's gotten a big ego since college started. Bigger than before, I mean," he says, throwing me an eloquent look. "And he's started lying about plenty of things. Big fat lies to cover up how he's not all that awesome."

"Like... what?"

Slim looks grim and smiles bitterly. "Did he ever mention that the reason he's not going to Chemistry class this semester isn't strictly because he doesn't like the teacher, but mostly because he failed last term's class?"

I blink. "What?"

He raises his brows. "See? He didn't exactly go around admitting it. I only know it because my parents had supper at his parents' place last week-end and they told us. Anyway," he takes a long sip of his orange juice bottle, "Guy's attitude kind of pisses me off. All the lies, all the egotism. He's fine when we jam, but his attitude towards others gets on my nerves. Like how he goes around bragging he can sleep with whatever girl he wants. What a prick, you know?"

I can't help but feel myself warm up to Slim even more. "So you're a little upset with him?"

Slim nods tiredly. "Kind of. I don't like confronting people unless it's strictly necessary, but sometimes I just feel like punching him back to his senses."

That's when he looks out the window. His eyes widen he stands up like a shot. "Shit, my dad's here and I said I'd be at the door and--shit. Gotta go!!!" He shoulders his bag haphazardly and shouts me a "See ya!" as he runs out. I barely had the time to shout back, "Bye!" that I realised I might miss my bus if I didn't run too.

So, at two seconds of interval, Slim and I burst out the college doors, he to reach his father's car and I to dart down the street towards the bus stop.

That said, I'm glad Slim and I are back to normal. And I'm sorry not to have updated more since last week. Frankly, my fanfiction is moving at a sluggish pace (can you blame me? Look at all the ongoing stuff in my life!) and I thought I'd give a sign of life if not information on my next story. That will have to wait, because I'm still in the first stages, where the story is subject to every possible change.

But there shall be more, fear not!

Love,
CM