OMGWTFHAX

I forgot to mark the day I hit the 150 pages line, so instead, I'm celebrating the 160 pages.

Yes. A full one hundred and sixty pages of Only in Hyrule goodness. Just 56 to go.

Incidentally, I'd like to celebrate the fact that I have completed chapter 20 of OiH sometime this week. Which means there are a mere seven chapters to go! Although I am still extremely fond of OiH, I am also ready to move on to another story. I'm still debating which one of my plot bunnies will actually be the best.

That's the problem with plot bunnies. Some of them are brilliant one-liners, or even brilliant plot twists, but they have no frame to be fixed on and are therefore lost. It's such a waste of good neurons! CURSE YOU, PLOTLESS IDEAS!

Also, my anticipation of Twilight Princess now officially borders on the insane. I WANT TO SWING YOUR SWORD, LINK! (Innuendo intended.) I want you to ride all over Hyrule and back! I want to ride you to Hyrule and back! I want to ride you on your back in Hyrule! And please, fangirls, you know you think the same.

For any smartasses who think they might make use of the comments section to break some potential "spoilers" to me about TP, spoilers that were released yesterday and today on the net, please be aware that I already know them. AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS. Hah! I'm not sensitive enough. Or maybe I'm too rabid a fan to really give a damn.

All I want is Link's warm little Wii-mote in my hand. And Wii'll play all night long.

(Do the puns ever end?)

Back on topic, which was, as you might have guessed, OiH: I have received (more) complaints that the romance was moving at the speed of a stoner snail whose ambition was thwarted by that of an ugly rollerskate.

Well, guess what? I've said it before and I'll say it again: I. Don't. Care. I'm not a bully; you're the masochists if you keep coming back for more. ;-) And no matter what you say, I know you like the tension as much as I do. And, really, envision the following scenario instead:

Link: "So, yeah, Zelda. You're the princess. Ganondorf's a bastard who wants the throne, but since I have fallen madly and deeply in love with you at first sight, I will do everything in my power to kick his butt. You won't even have to do a thing."
Zelda: "Oh, Link, verily you are very hot. Once you're done dealing with all your sexy professional butt-kicking, let's make out."
Link: "I couldn't think of a better script myself."
Zelda: "Indeed. Straight to the point, isn't it?"
Link: "Yes. So direct, in fact, that every possible action you could have accomplished, actions which the protagonist is usually entitled to act out, was reduced to sitting there and getting everything done on the first try, thus seducing me even further. Like a Mary Sue!"
Zelda: "Yes, but since I shoot lasers out my eyes, you have no choice but to love me."
Link: "Nothing could be truer."

Puh-lease. Not dragging out the romance would have been an insult to my capacity as an author. It's too easy if they hop into bed and screw like the bunnies they are right at the first chapter. Half the humour would have been gone for the remainder of the story.

Actually, this is my equation for OiH:

Varied yet stressful/embarrassing events + smexy and professional male (in this case, Link) + insecure yet capable girl (in this case, Zelda) + general mood that shifts between sassy and sincere + threat (in this case, Ganny) = recipe for love fic.

With some differences here and there, it's the same template as the one used in my other stories. Because it works. People like reading this. I'm not saying this with contempt or with the impression that I know better. I include myself as an active reader, considering that I write primarily for myself. And the fact is, I personally wouldn't want to read a crappy, ultra-sappy, over-happy, and too predictable fic (you thought I was gonna find another rhyme with *appy, didn't you? Well, hah!).

Why bother with angst? I'm not trying to make people go emo on themselves, nor am I trying to convey some deep pain and misunderstanding from the deepest reaches of my tortured soul caused by the bloody capitalist society and the weapons of hate and loathing and rage of all those who just don't understand my pain (this is your cue to nod and sigh in agreement). If all my stories were tragic, readers, including myself, would come out at the end of the story going, "Well damn, life sucks." Which it doesn't.

Why bother with action/adventure? I love the genre, don't get me wrong. But the are some people who do it so much better than me. In a situation where one does not compete, one finds their own field to specialize in.

Mine is romance. It's a bit embarrassing to say, considering sap and waff make me roll my eyes and I deliberately avoid romance movies. Like the Notebook, which I was forced to watch and which didn't make me cry. Call me insensitive, but really... The rule of thumb with me is 'If you can't relate, don't pretend.' Romeo and Juliet? Sorry. No archrivals in my life. Try again later.

Enough sap! Does no one else live a spunky, impossibly hilarious life? Am I the only one? What better life can possibly be lead than one that closely resembles a Meg Cabot novel? Seriously. If movies will not convey this fantastic realism, then fanfics must take it up. Let's start a revolution.

Really people. You KNOW you wouldn't have nearly as much fun reading me if I were just another sap author.

So get used to the torture. I've plenty in store. And it'll be worth your while.

Promise.

Love,
CM

P.S. So what if I found out about the hyperlink function? I plead not-guilty of showing off my uber skillz in hyperlinking stuff. ... *shifty eyes*