Bwixgflihrl

I'm gone for three days and I return and find my inbox loaded.

Among other things (some spam regarding the legacy of a millionaire went directly to the junk folder), I was STUNNED to receive the following message (which Rensa kindly remarked on in the previous post :p):

Happy New Year! :)

You are receiving this message because you are one of the authors whose story made it to the second stage of voting, the Best Overall round. I will be announcing these results to the public later today, but I wanted to give you all an advance heads-up before the word goes out.

I must apologize for letting this go on so long. With the long list of participating fandoms this year, it was difficult to gather enough votes for a fair result. I will be revamping the Round Two process before the 2008 UFOs to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Today, however, I am pleased to finally present the winners list for Best Overall fanfiction of 2007:

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First Place: "Only In The World of Dragons" by atruwriter
Second Place: "Of Course" by insidiae
Third Place: "Only in Hyrule" by CrazygurlMadness

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The winners will be receiving separate emails shortly regarding their prizes. Congratulations!

This concludes the UFO Awards for 2007. I would like to thank you all once again for your patience and participation. We've had another successful year, and it's all thanks to the authors who allow us to honor them. Thank you so much for sticking with us over the past year, and I look forward to seeing you on the nominees list again. :)

Okay. Seriously. WHAT.

I am not only supremely flattered, I'm also highly embarrassed and excited and stunned. This just stumps me completely. If you'll recall, I made no advertisement whatsoever regarding this second round (Best Overall), mostly because I considered I didn't stand a chance.

...

Wow. Seriously. To all those who voted for me, thank you thank you thank you!!! I NEVER thought my writing would EVER be recognized to that extent, and you've seriously made me ecstatic and squealy.

That's right. I am seriously amazed and touched. Thank you a million times. You've given me incentive to keep pursuing my writing career, and I promise that I will let you know from now on about my writing projects (maybe even book deals... who knows? ;p ), even outside the world of fanfiction.



Love,
Val

Joy!

So I figured in case I didn't mention this enough...

UFO Awards: Only in Hyrule comes 1st place for the Legend of Zelda category.


UFO Awards: Summit comes 3rd place for the Legend of Zelda category.


I love love love the fact that Dejana Talis (creator of the UFOs) used Colin and Talo's pics for the Summit award. :D

In thanks for those who voted, I promise I'll write a oneshot, to be released before the end of October (yeah, I know, it sounds like a long way off, but I'm rushed and overworked, so I need the extra time). Probably Zelink... and AU (surprising, huh?).

Love,
CM

Double holy shit

I know this is a second post in one day, but I figured I'd spread the awesome news.

The votes for the 2007 UFO Awards are in. As you might recall (or seen on this blog), two of my stories had been up for contest: Only in Hyrule and Summit, which had already been a massive honour. The nominations, seconds, and votes were all out of my hands. My only role was to accept the nominations if I wanted to participate.

That said, I just received an email from Dejana Talis at the UFOs about the first round of voting results:

First place: Only in Hyrule
Second place: Lyx's Chance
Third place: Summit

While I figured that having two stories up would probably earn me a spot in the end, I never expected to rank both of them in the top three. So I'm really excited, flattered and happy! As per Lyx's ranking in there, W00T! I will so harass you on MSN, lady.

... No seriously, chick, WE KICK ASS! :D :D :D

And since one of my stories has made the first place, I'm eligible for the second round of voting: Best Story Overall. Which would stun me better than a Deku Nut, so I'm keeping my expectations low.

Soooo as soon as the second round of voting opens, I'll let you know and we'll see how far this takes us.

As soon as I receive the badges, I'll also upload them onto this blog, so keep an eye out. Hee!

Love,
CM

Voting time!

It's been so long since I was nominated that when Dejana of the UFO Awards contacted me to announce the opening of the votes, I was surprised. There hadn't been enough entries last year in the Legend of Zelda category, so I never got past the nomination round. This is as new for me as it is for you.

So.

If you like my work in either Only in Hyrule or Summit, please, take a moment to vote here. It would mean the world to me and I promise that if one of my stories gets a little something, I'll force myself out of my inactive daze and publish a new oneshot. Even though I've sworn off fanfiction. It's the only voting incentive I can offer without feeling like a cheat.

At that, I also heartily encourage you to read the other nominees's entries and to support them as they deserve. They worked as hard as I have, and I really want the best story to win.

So don't forget to spare me some voting time!

Love,
CM

First post of the year

And Only in Hyrule has reached the whooping bar of the 60 000 hits, making it by far the most popular story I ever wrote.

Bad Start, on its part, hasn't gotten a bad start at all; 3 days in and it's already got nothing but good feedback, so I'm pretty glad.

And so, in between planning my trip to France, preparing myself mentally for my fourth and last term in college, freaking out about my university applications, earning money at Sears, and trying to finish my 9000 piece puzzle (did I mention this? We had to stick three tables together in our basement just to cover the final surface), I try to fit in some FG writing time. Obviously the oneshots I released for New Year's ate a few hours of that writing time, but I'm crossing my fingers for a February upload of the first chapter.

Then again, that's subject to change as well, for all the reasons stated above.

I'm also cursed with a new time-suction application called Facebook, which my brother forced me to join on the 31st, and while I appreciate that my circle of friends is confirmed by a spam-like website, I also realise that my time is utterly wasted on it. Hurrah.

Then again, I got to see everyone's vacation pictures. My aunt, uncle and cousins went down to Cuba, and recent bathing suit shots confirm that yes, I am the only pale person in my family. They also confirmed that my male cousins are suited to be underwear models (my eldest cousin Matt, 22, has a particularly well-developed glutteus maximus, as well as washboard abs that would intimidate professional athletes), which is more than a little disturbing. To me at least. Their two thousand Facebook friends ―majority female, of course― seem to think otherwise, however.

Also saw Rick and Slim's vacation pics to DisneyWorld. No pictures with Goofy, but a good couple with the Power Rangers, which was just as entertaining. I have to admit that Rick and Slim's goofy faces make up for the lack of actual mascots, so I forgave them their slip-up. And who wouldn't pay to see Slim riding a motorbike on Star Wars' planet of Endor? Exactly.

Notice that I've added a video bar to my navigation, below the Twitchy Links. They're the vids I've made, based on Twilight Princess. If you kept up with my blog of late, you probably saw them already, but hey, I might as well post 'em here if I can.

I've considered making a list of my priorities, but I then figured that I never actually follow my lists anyway and that it was, in actuality, nothing but a subconscious way to procrastinate.

With that, I bid you a temporary farewell as I force myself back into writing mode. I figure a little bit of violent self-coaching should get it done.

Love,
CM

Fighting Gravity news

Before anyone freaks out, like, "OMG SHE HASN'T SPOKEN ABOUT FG IN SO LONG, SHE MUST HAVE GIVEN UP", I'd like to say, "No," and, "Slap yourself for even thinking that."

In fact, as Lyxie might attest if she happens to lurk around here, FG is still going strong. In fact, if she finds to time to play witness, she'll probably assure you better than I could that LoZ futuristic fiction works (this time around) which is immensely relieving because I was worried it simply could not be done and that I was shooting myself in the foot.

I personally divide FG into main parts (so far I'm planning 5, but a 6th might be necessary if I can't properly conclude with part 5), which are divided into chapters (these are the divisions I'll use for posting the story online), which are then divided into scenes (as such, a chapter can contain one to three scenes; typically: two).

At the moment I'm working on scene 18, where I get to mix elements from the Oracle games with a Twilight Princess boss. Exciting. Scene 17, right before it, is one of my favourites as it contains some Midna goodness, some Zant insanity and my beloved Dark's frustration. The story is picking up and steadily rising; in other words, it's finally found its slow cruising speed.

I don't know if I'd mentioned these things, but I might as well repeat it for the newcomers.

Fighting Gravity, while completely different from Only in Hyrule, follows the same don't-invent-material-if-you-can-borrow-it-from-the-series concept. Basically, all characters are from the games and all places/objects/situations will be connected to canon somehow. I do this mostly to entertain myself, so yay for me.

Additionally, the characters, because they're just not numerous enough (this is sarcasm, by the way), are sometimes multiplied. I mean that Zelda, Sheik and Tetra exist as seperate entities. That isn't unusual, but I also took the liberty of dividing Link's personas into seperate characters too, which might lead to confusion.

Let's just say that Link, Young Link, Dark Link, Fierce Deity Link, and Wolf Link all make an appearance in the story, and they are all different characters leading different lives with different objectives. For convenience and originality, I gave them new names, but you can guess that they won't be very far-fetched. ; )

And here I think I'll resume posting main character profiles, but since it's a batch update, you're better off just seeing them on the Twitchy Site under Fighting Gravity's page (... Upcoming Stories\Fighting Gravity).

Actually, I did a few changes to the site, so you might as well go check them out today and tomorrow.

Okay, enough. Time to go.

Love,
CM

Exclamation points!

Before I get into the massive hyperactivity attack that usually captures me at this time of day (thank you, one AM), LOOK AT THIS!

LOOKIT ALL THOSE HITS!!!!

I KNOW!!!! I'M TOTALLY SHOCKED TOO!

*fans self*

Sooooo... As a thank you for all your amazing feedback and lurking (I'm grateful, even for the lurkers), I published a Zelink oneshot. It seems, though, that ff.net is being annoying and not sending alerts, so here's my alert.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Love,
CM

Edit: Why... I'm quite sure that...

Wait. Hang on. Ah. Yes, indeed, it seems FG will be, like, fifty billion times longer than OiH. How exciting.

*weeps*

Back to writing, then. Rome was not built in one day, and it was built by anti-procrastinators at that. Imagine what it is for me.

(Am currently at page 52, in the part where the following phrase is spoken: "I didn't know they still made attractive mechanics." Am incidently loving my inane wit and hilarious dialogue. ... Hah.)

Unbelievable.

So I know it was Canada Day today, and I know it was St-Jean-Baptiste (St-John the Baptist a.k.a. Quebec Day, I guess) last week, but I celebrated neither. I understand national holidays are big things in North America in general, but hell if you'll ever see me waving flags around. In Quebec, it's a touchy subject anyway (let's not get into that).

Mostly, I just watch the fireworks from my bedroom window. I don't know what urban district does the fireworks near here, but they don't usually disappoint.

So Canada has the first of July, and intent party-goers just have to head south once they recover from their hangover and party on the fourth of July with all our southern neighbours. It's an ideal schedule for many people, I reckon. In fact, those who have no qualms about political ideals can even get drunk one week prior, on the 24th, with all Quebec seperatists, and then head to Ottawa on the 1st of July for more beer from the federalists, then to, like, Vermont on the 4th for more beer.

But since I don't drink (seriously: alcohol? Awful taste), I don't care at all. My brain is free of any befuddlement and can focus on writing, which, let's face it, is the only real good stuff.

So I've been procrastinating from FG (which is still steadily ongoing, at a pace slower than romance in OiH ―which is saying something, innit?), and wrote a short oneshot on the side, completely unrelated. It's kind of a TP sequel. Zelink this time, because Summit frustrated so many people by not having any pairings (which is kind of silly because it's not like pairings are the only thing that matters, but hey, whatever).

Won't be posting it tonight. I'm going to wait for a very special moment, probably in the next few days/weeks. I'll tell you all about it when it does come, but let's just say...

*Eee!*

And before you get your hopes up, it's not going to change your life. It'll just make me totally giddy for a week, is all.

Let's just say that OiH is getting very close to a very special hits count, one I never thought I'd hit, ever.

So, to thank you special readers, I'll be giving you a oneshot to feast on until I get over my agonizingly slow progress on FG and actually get enough material that I can safely begin posting. I'm writing very slowly even though I have handwritten material that needs to be cleaned up and typed. So I have the story down; it's just that the text needs so many details added in, it's painful.

Never fear; it'll get done. Hopefully within the next decade. ;P

Love,
CM

Quick post

To assure you that I am writing. Intensively. Writing my next story, I mean. The one I mentioned before. The futuristic Zelink, I mean.

As an additional detail, it'd be a war/science-fiction/fantasy/romance type of story. The tentative title, by the way, is Fighting Gravity, a concept intimately related to some of the content in the story. And before you ask, no, it's not a space story.

Anyway, trust me. I'm still alive. And I'm working hard at making something that could be on par with Only in Hyrule's success (mission impossible, I sometimes think, but it's best to stay positive). FG would be so different from OiH that it shouldn't be comparable.

As with OiH, I'll try to have a few buffer chapters before posting anything. As I cannot predict the final length of this particular story (it is multi-chaptered, considering I'm not even done with the "introduction" segments and I'm already reaching the end of page 19, roughly chapter two), I don't know how many chapters I'll want to have completed before posting the first one.

The story's outline is vaguely set out in my mind, in a state where I can still freely change it but also use it to orient my characters. I know where I want to get, but in order to keep myself working on it, I can't plan everything out from the start. What's the point, after all? It'd be like spoiling the story for myself.

And yes, I know that last sentence sounded stupid, but when I write, I need to enjoy it, or else it comes out half-assed and tasteless. What's the point of writing something funny if you're not laughing until you cry yourself? What's the point of writing an exciting scene if you don't feel your stomach knot and your throat tie?

I need to feel the same enjoyment in writing as the one I want you, the readers, to feel when you'll read it for yourselves.

So. Will I pressure myself into writing it? Definitely not. I have a good feeling about this one, and I really want it to work.

After mentally calculating, in a very vague way, at the rate where things are going, I could have a 30-chapter story on my hands, or approximately 300 pages (OiH had 217 in size 11 Times New Roman). Rejoice or weep, it's all up to you, but this story needs to be told, and I'm sure you'll like it.

Love,
CM

Arglgllbbllglrlgl... (or, What Bilingualism Means)

OMG EDIT: Only in Hyrule just hit the 45 000 hits!

C'est officiel. J'ai perdu la tête. Et je parle en français? WTF?

Hah, scared you, didn't I? In all seriousness, I am going a little insane here, because of school (what else?). Seriously. As PB and I sat during our team meeting today, he took out his agenda and let out a loud groan.

So of course I had to ask, "Qu'est-ce qu'y a?" ("What is it?")

PB just looked at me and said. "T'as vu l'horaire pour les deux prochaines semaines? J'capote." ("D'you see the schedule for the next two weeks? I'm freaking out.")

I just frowned. "Ben, c'est pas si pire que ça." ("Well, it's not that bad.")

"Allô, on a juste un test de connaissances sur comme, quatorze textes en français, demain, à midi, après notre émission radio, en plus de la BD à remettre la semaine prochaine, pis le projet en Films de genre, pis la critique en journalisme, pis―" ("Hello, we only have a knowledge test on, like, fourteen texts in French tomorrow, at noon, after our radio show, plus the Comic project due next week, and the Genres project, and the critique in Journalism, and―")

I stare at him. "Le test de connaissances, c'est demain?" ("The knowledge test is tomorrow?")

He makes an eloquent face. "Ben ouais, ma p'tite. Tu penses-tu que j'me laisse aller à des élans de nausée pour rien?" ("Well yeah, my li'l girl." That's the literal translation, though it's more along the lines of, "darling" in a diminutive or sarcastic way. "D'you really think I let myself suffer pangs of nausea for nothing?")

I put my face in my hands. "Oh, c*lisse." (I will not translate this, though I'm pretty sure you'd all be very interested in a Quebecer Swearing 101 course, considering it's so drastically different from the rest of the world's swearing origins.)

PB just presses his lips together, shrugs, and, as he does so, nods like a monkey. I don't know how to describe it. It could be like an iguana, too. How does an iguana nod? Or maybe a parrot. Yes, it's more like a parrot nodding, but I digress. "Ben, c'est ça que j'me dis, tsé." ("Well, that's what I tell m'self, y'know.")

"C'est pas grave," I say. "Tu vas m'aider... Hein, PB, qu'tu vas m'aider?" ("It's not that bad. You'll help me... Right, PB, that you'll help me?")

He just shoots me a flat, absolutely unheroic look. "Non. Tu vas t'débrouiller toute seule." ("No. You'll get by on your own.") But then he shrugs and smiles.

I shoot him a nasty little glare. "Ouais, pa'ce que j't'ai tellement pas aidé avec tes fautes pour ta dissert' en français." ("Yeah, 'cause I totally didn't help you with your spelling for your essay in French.")

His eyes widen. "J'ai quand même coulé!" ("I still failed!") And he points at me accusingly.

I roll my eyes. "Avec 55% plutôt que 43%." ("With 55% rather than 43%.")

"OK, j'avoue. Mais quand même." ("Okay, I'll admit. But still.")

"Euh, excusez-nous," one of my teammates ―Iza― interrupts us on behalf of the three remaining teammates, "mais on devrait comme peut-être, hypothétiquement, genre, travailler sur le projet radio?" ("Uh, excuse us, but we should like, maybe, hypothetically, kinda, work on the radio project?")

Brought back to reality, PB and I look duly chastened. Lyn smiles awkwardly. "Alors, CM, t'as l'annonce pour la pause publicitaire?" ("So, CM, you have the ad for the ad break?")

I grin and take out my USB key. "Ouais. Écoutez-le et appréciez!" ("Yeah, listen to it and appreciate it!")

PB snickers as I open the file on the computer nearby. He's already heard it, so he knows what to expect.

Here's the file. Please download only once to your computer and listen to it as often as you like. I don't know how much bandwidth I have. I know, it's sad, but if you all limit the downloads to 1, then it'll last longer for everyone.

And here's the script, so you don't go 'wtf!' at it because you find out it's in French. The translations in parentheses are adapted to be grammatical in English, with some terms used as equivalents for francophone expressions.

Narrator: Un crime atroce... (An atrocious crime...)

*door creak*

Narrator: Un tueur tordu... (A twisted killer/murderer...)

*woman's scream*

Narrator: Un seul témoin... (Only one witness...)

PI Assistant: Jack, il est dans ton bureau, mon vieux. (Jack, he's in your office, man.)

Jack the PI: Je vais lui tirer les vers du nez, à ce type. Tu vas voir. (I'll force the info out of that guy. You just see.)

Narrator: Un seul problème. (Only one problem.)

Jack: Comment ça, il est sourd-muet?? (What do you mean, he's deaf-mute??)

PIA: On a travaillé toute la nuit et on a finalement trouvé une solution. (We worked all night and finally found a solution.)

Narrator: Leur seul recours... (Their only recourse...)

PIA: Attends! Son premier mot... (Wait! His first word...)

Jack: Je sais! Je sais. Une vache! Non! Un tricycle aérien! Euh, un stylo autocollant avec une clochette! (I know! I know. A cow. No! A flying tricyle! Uh, a sticker pen with a bell!)

Narrator: S'il y a un film à voir cet été... (If there is one movie to see this summer...)

PIA: Un arbre! Un aaarbre! (A tree! A treeeee!)

Jack: Merde, c'est vachement dur. Il est nul, ce mime! (Shit/Damn, this is bloody tough. This mime sucks!)

Narrator: Le silence des muets. (The Silence of the Mutes. ―note that in French, titles don't have caps all the way)

PIA: Fiou... Deuxième mot! (Phew... Second word!)

Jack: Je sens que ça va être long. (I feel this might take a while.)

Narrator: Dans toutes les salles de cinéma près de chez vous. (In all theaters near you.)

Special notes: All voices are my brother's. He's keen on acting and all. And I tweaked a few of them by computer. I'll let you guess which one is closest to his real voice.

Also, the way he pronounces is quite far from how Quebecers usually speak. He was being particularly articulate, and trying to copy the fake-sounding French dubs of English movies.

The background music is 1. part of the Resident Evil 4 soundtrack and 2. Mona Lisa Overdrive from the Matrix Reloaded.

Oh, and it's a play on mimed charades, in case you didn't figure it out. ^^

You can read the birth of the ad in my previous update. It's given PB an idea for a video sketch (he and Slim often do stupid videos with PB's script ideas and Slim's camera skills). So it shall continue to inspire laughter beyond the radio show tomorrow morning.

Oh, god. The radio show is tomorrow. I feel ill.

Love,
CM

Sweeping, cleaning, and other strange behaviours.

I spend a lot of time near my computer. Not because I'm a geek (though some might argue that I am), but because everything I need is also near my computer. Except the fridge and the shower... and my bed.

Well, anyway, almost everything I need is near my computer. This includes but is not limited to blank CDs and blank DVDs, fake plants (we're trying to emulate a tamed jungle look in this here basement―it's damn awesome), many, many movie cases (with DVDs), game CDs, my earphones, my computer tower and flatscreen, an old stack of playing cards, baby pictures of myself (I don't know why they're there; I think I'll give them back to Mom).

I also have my session schedule, many Post-Its with notes like, 'Answer your mail, you stupid hermit!' and 'DO YOUR HOMEWORK! STOP PROCRASTINATING!' that I make a point of ignoring, books, magazines, CD labels, cards, a cheap, very, very cheap drawing tablet that I can hardly use it's so cheap, college papers, a belt (?!), EBGames' release schedule for 2006 (I think I'll put that one to the recycling bin), old school projects that I got a good grade in and don't want to throw away, my final high school year photo album, and many, many papers that stack and slip all over the place.

I was kind of surprised when my mother said, "CM, will you PLEASE clean up your desk? It's a real mess."

I didn't really see the mess. I know that hell by heart, and it suits me. My mind works in strange ways. To be honest, cleaning it up would mess me up even more.

Except, you don't disobey my mother when she gets into one of her cleaning rages. So I sat at my desk and started cleaning it up.

I was rather surprised to find stuff like college applications (whoops, no longer needed--Recycling bin, here I come!), a publicity homework draft on which Kitty had written, "CM, it's Kitty. I beg you to come back down to Earth!" And to which I'd replied, "Houston, we're in deep crap... the space toilets exploded!" beside which I drew one of my colourful drawings displaying a spaceship colliding with Earth, accompanied by a screaming onomatopea, which I ultimately decided to keep.

I also found more back-up CDs, pencils, a nail file, an elastic, a bobby pin, two 10$ Cineplex gift cards (w00t!), and the Apology of Socrates and Criton by Plato. I hurried to put that one out of sight, because all I managed to think about was a shameless voiceover, and that is never good.

I'd forgotten, though, that on my desk, I often gather a couple of things that happen to be of crucial importance.

Like hand-written pages for the stories I write.

And not just any written pages, but the first pages. I am of course talking about the first pages of what later become Only in Hyrule, and I thought, this is too good to pass up, so scanned the very first page, and here it is.

(You can view it full-size by clicking on it.)

This is the first page I ever wrote, which later became chapter two. I wrote it on the plane from France next to my unattractive neighbour, whom I kept wishing would turn into a gorgeous hunk (he never did, by the way).

At first, I didn't think the story would lead anywhere. It was just the way I had of passing time. The flight was, after all, eight hours long.

And then I couldn't get the idea out of my head. I think by now I'm pretty glad it stuck with me.

You might notice some differences between this version and the final version, but essentially, this is the messy way I work. Also, verb tenses don't always correlate from paragraph to paragraph. I do think I fixed this later on, but it stems from the fact that I would look up, have a drink, and so on, so whenever I came back to continue writing, I'd change verb tenses.

I'm not ashamed to say that this is my handwriting. It's a bit quirky, innit? Not exactly the girliest, but then again, if I hadn't been struck by inspiration (it forces me to write at the speed of sound, in case I lose my idea, so basically everything winds up looking awful), maybe I'd have taken the time to write out in bubbly lettering.

If I knew how to write in bubbly lettering, that is.

Maybe you noticed I don't use liquid paper. There are three reasons for that. First off, I didn't have any; then, it takes too much time to correct every single mistake; and finally, I'm a lefty, so whenever I'd try to write over it, my hand'd brush against the wet correction and get smudged with white chemicals. Gross, and very annoying. So I deal with my scribblings instead.

In other news, I've been, whenever I'm not working my butt off for school, writing more stuff. I'm quite inconsistent and I've been jumping from job to job. So I'm partially working on a TP four-years-after sequel, which I am doing merely to get rid of my TP ideas and study the new characters. It should be interesting, and once it's done I'll be free to return to my usual scribbling.

Oops, now I have to stop procrastinating and get to work for real.

At least my desk is clean again.

Love,
CM

Only in Hyrule mysteries

I said I'd make a special post about the mysteries that pervade Only in Hyrule come the end of the story. Since I'll be posting the last chapter tomorrow or after tomorrow, I thought it'd be interesting to give you the answers to the questions you asked in your reviews.

What I did was, I combed through each review for each chapter and took down every question you asked. I then got rid of those that weren't relevant ―as they were answered by the chapters that followed the review― and ignored all those that asked me to "please update?" Because they weren't an inquiry or an interesting comment.

So. Here follow your questions and my answers regarding Only in Hyrule. Keep in mind that a lot of the questions asked can date back to as far as the first four chapters. Also, remember that my answers aren't meant to hurt anyone's feelings. Some of the questions were funny, so I had to answer in the same way, and it wasn't meant to offend you for asking the question in the first place.

If you have questions that I didn't answer, feel free to ask them in a comment. I'll update and edit this post until after chapter 27 has been uploaded and reviewed.

Only in Hyrule Mysteries

Is Hyrule like, modern in this fanfic?
Um. Yes.

Will you make a book/Fiction Press story with it?
No. It would be hypocritical to take a fan fic, change the names and pretend that it’s my original work. Plus, say it gets published, if one of the people who read it online buy it in stores, they’ll know my real name and/or call me or my profile a copycat, which it wouldn’t be, and I’d get harassed about it anyway.

Is the Shaker drink a metaphor for Link’s personality?
Perhaps. B)

Is Kafei a part of this?
Yes, Scarlet. In case you didn’t notice. But I didn’t admit to it that one time at your place when you suspiciously cornered me because I love torturing you.

Zelda really likes Link, doesn’t she?
Understatement of the year.

Link is really oblivious, isn’t he?
I think he’s far less oblivious than Zelda, as a matter of fact.

I’m suspecting our thickheaded heroes will have many awkward mushy moments. Am I right?
*laugh* I think that might be a source of stress for you in the near future.

What was on the paper Aryll gave Zelda?
A speech. Aryll knew to anticipate that Zelda would need one. She might be an even better publicist than her brother, hm?

Do Navi’s delusions mean something (like foreshadowing) for Link and Zelda?
No. Not for these Link and Zelda, at least.

How can Zelda understand a thing about law?
She’s far from stupid (at least she retained this from canon), but she’s insecure. Knowledge contributes to her confidence.

When will the Link x Zelda fluff come in?
*laughs more* You’ll have to be very, very patient.

Why doesn’t Link seem affected by Zelda?
Because Zelda is too oblivious to notice whether or not he thinks of her in a less-than-professional way.

Oh. Ralph. Side dishes enhance the main course, right?
Couldn’t say it better myself.

WHEN ARE LINK AND ZELDA GONNA KISS??
*twiddles thumbs*

Why do I get the feeling that Ralph took Zelda to the Grave Yard on purpose? Is he aware of her ‘relationship’ with Link?
I think if there’s one thing certain, it’s that Ralph is smarter than he lets on. How smart he is remains a mystery.

Why can’t Zelda hear what others say about her?
Because she’s not there to hear them. As much as she’d like to be, she’s not omniscient.

Will there be a kiss, next chapter? Maybe? Hopefully? Possibly?
*sigh and shrug*

Hopefully the final six chapters or so will have Zelda x Link action.
…

Link is way too professional. You’re enjoying our suffering, aren’t you?
I have the right to remain silent.

What is the relationship between Impa and Sheik?
As far as we know, Sheik merely built a training program for Impa. And it seems to work, considering that she’s the most muscular woman I know.

If the first princess of Hyrule eloped to Lake Hylia, are she and Zelda related?
Well, I didn’t write it without thinking, but I prefer to leave it up in the air. ;D

Why won’t Link react to Zelda?
Didn’t I answer this question already?

Acaso un beso o un acercamiento raro es mucho pedir? (Translation: Maybe a kiss or a precious hug is too much to ask?)
I really could swear I answered this question already.

Beetle panties?
Yes…?

Numbering sexy hunks, uh?
Oh, don’t sound so sceptical, Scarlet. You’re as guilty as I am.

Why hasn’t anything happened between Zelda and Link yet??
There must be something wrong with your browser, or something. I’m not guilty.

How on earth did you come up with the idea for this story?
Chapter 2 ―set on a plane― came into my mind while I was on the plane back from France. I kept hoping that my middle-aged and unattractive seat neighbour would turn into a gorgeous hunk.
I was disappointed.

Where did you get the info on etiquette?
Personal culture, and a class I took a few years back. It was actually a cooking class, but they also took time to teach us how to eat soup from a bowl, how to drink, how to sit, which utensils to use, etc. It was nothing royal, but it taught us how to be at least somewhat classy.

How do you write such good stories?
That’s a rhetorical question, I hope? Because I frankly have no idea.

Link’s Suck My Rooster shirt isn’t appropriate/politically correct.
Oh, gingersnaps!

What did Link do before he started working for Zelda?
Good question. His previous jobs are mostly obscure. It’s certain that he was a bartender during his university years and he once was Darmani’s manager. He’s also personally acquainted with both Ralph and Kafei, but how this came to be will remain a mystery.

Why aren’t there women ministers?
Because I thought there weren’t enough male characters in the LoZ series and I wanted to reassure myself. I’m still unconvinced, although Shad from TP did alleviate part of my concern. Also, I forgot to be a feminist for a very short moment.

Is there anywhere I can buy myself a live, sexy notebook?
If there was, I’d have gotten one for myself already.

When will Link admit he finds Zelda hot?
*deep sigh*

How old are Link and Zelda?
I never decided on a specific age. I think it’s important that they encompass many ages. But I internally consider that Link is in his late twenties while Zelda is in her mid-twenties.

Why isn’t Link a fashion model, the way you describe him?
Because he’s a publicist.

Will the pets from Oracle of Seasons be included?
No.

Will there be Child Link/Dark Link/Fierce Deity Link/Wolf Link in the story?
No. It’s hard enough to have Zelda, Sheik and Tetra interact. They’re enough multiple identities to handle for one story, thank you very much.

Who can deny your complete and utter awesomeness?
That’s another rhetorical question, I think. But if you were actually wondering, I might safely say that those who hate me can freely deny my awesomeness. But I don’t care much about those who hate me, because it seems affection is lost on them in the first place.

About the rating. Your profile says the story is 13+, but the info says K+. Was this intentional?
If I said I have no idea what the new ratings in FF.Net signify and so chose to simply say the rating was good old ESRB PG-13, would you hold it against me?
Anyway, I changed it to a T.
… What does the K stand for anyway??

I don’t like your multi-chaptered stories. I prefer your one shots.
… Okay…

What is Link thinking??
Why do you care so much?? Oh. Wait. Never mind.

Was Link faking it when they got drunk on milkwine?
Here you have two options. Either you believe what he said about having no tolerance to alcohol and so his standing without wavering is a sign that he’s got amazing balance, or you believe that he lied about having low alcohol tolerance and was just trying to get Zelda to relax. Either way, the story works fine.

ARGH! Why didn’t they kiss??
This time you can blame it on Vaati.

Will you strangle me if I ask you to update?
No, but you can’t strangle me either if you don’t actually get an update. I love fairness.

Has Ezlo been mentioned?
Um. I think so. Why?

Is it just me, or did that chapter go by a little fast?
It did. It totally windswept my newest hairdo, too. Where are the law enforcers when these things zip by like that? It’s so rude. Not to mention dangerous.

Is the Shaker a real drink?
No. But if someone invents it, I want one.

Why won’t you speed up the Zelda x Link issue?
This is getting redundant.

Link is a sly little hunk, hm?
Yep.

This has nothing to do with your story but (insert random comment that really doesn’t have anything to do with the story).
When are you people going to learn how to send PMs or emails? I can’t even delete your random comments. It’d be nice to keep my review section clear of random unrelated stuff, thank you.

‘Organization’ is how its spelled.
Ah, ah, ah. That’s in the US. In Canada, we can spell it ‘organization’ or ‘organisation’. Same thing for ‘realise’ and ‘realize’. So simmer down.

How is it possible for a guy to be as awesome as Link?
I don’t know. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may not find one like him and so live vicariously by writing about an imaginary one.

Twilight Princess is already OUT?
Yes. And it rocks my socks.

They’re never going to get dirty, are they?
At this point I don’t think answering will do much of a difference. I could say just about anything and the message would be the same.

Does anyone actually expect Ganondorf to go down quietly?
No.

Did Zelda get clothes for the concert?
Well, she’s not going naked, for sure.

What is the Mister Knuckle thing?
Even I don’t know. But it sounds ominous, doesn’t it?

What about the Zelda x Link pent-up sexual frustration scene??
Muffins.

Do you have all your other chapters ready and just make us wait to be cruel?
Yes, but I don’t mean to be cruel. I just want to gather up a decent amount of reviews for each chapter, that’s all.

How does every chapter manage to get better than the one before?
I gain EXP points and use them to buy an upgrade.

How could you do that??
I took up this amazing book at the bookstore called, “How To Do That for Dummies”. You should give it a read too.

Why does Link want to quit his job??
I don’t really feel like answering this question. La-dee-da-dee-da. Look at me. I’m rebellious.

When are Link and Zelda going to hook up?
Blueberry muffins.

Ganondorf was going to do WHAT?
He was going to do That. He read my book, the bastard.

So now that Zelda’s up there, what about her and Link?
Buttery blueberry muffins.

You should be a writer!
… Wait. I’m not? Aw, shit. I knew there was something wrong with the paperwork.

So who told on Zelda? Darunia? Malon?
You decide, but I think it was Sheik. See chapter 12 for reference. Although I guess Darunia and Malon are just as suspicious.

Will there be a sequel?
Dear gods, no.

Will you please, please, please tell me if you upload another Zelda/Zelda x Link/AU/whatever fan fic?
No, because if you have Author Alert, it won’t be necessary. Author Alert is an automated mailing list and it works just fine (when FF.Net doesn't choose to be a d!ck), so I certainly won’t make my personalized one. It’s more work than I can spend time on. Less mailing, more writing!

If you have any more questions, ask away. I'll try to answer them as well as I can.

Love,
CM

MORE QUESTIONS!

Who is Barry Barinade?

He's a character I made up based on the third OoT boss, Barinade, but I wanted him to have a first name: Barry. Because Barry sounds funny with a last name like Barinade. He's just a random character, along the lines of Dampé Keeper and so on. He's mentioned but doesn't play much of a role except vaguely situate us regarding past events.

This made me think of My Fair Lady.

Be glad I didn't make Zelda sing the whole story, then. Still, you're probably saying that because your girlfriend didn't drag you to see the Princess Diaries. If you'd seen that movie, you'd be comparing my story to PD more than My Fair Lady.

... Hey, aren't you the one who keeps criticizing my stuff?

Will Aryll become a publicist?

I don't know, but I'd like to think so. :)

Unbelievable.

I posted a new chapter of OiH.

So go read it.

Love,
CM

OiH again!

I have done it! I have finally completed chapters 26 and 27 of OiH!!!

And chapter 27 kicks butt, if I do say so myself.

To celebrate, chapter 25 is now available.

I'm kind of sad it's over, though. Now I'll have to find some other brilliant idea to write about, and god knows those are hard to find. Plot bunnies aren't a problem: I've got plenty and they're gathering dust in my head. But the Genius Idea of Excellent Writing?

Yeah. Not so much.

Whatever.

My parents already finished installing a new toilet to replace the old (majorly) cracked one. Things are (relatively) back to normal, even though the drywall in the basement looks like it wants to kill someone. Oh well. At least we're not in the middle of an indoor rainstorm anymore.

I'm beginning to understand why the Windmill Guy from Ocarina of Time went berserk about the Song of Storms.

Love,
CM

Only in Hyrule news.

I think it was high-time I made a pre-finale post about OiH. Sure, there are only three chapters left to Only in Hyrule ―chapters 25, 26 and 27― and the true conclusion will be in chapter 27, but the finale starts at chapter 25.

To me, chapter 25 is very satisfactory, considering that I was concerned about the realism of Zelda's emotions. As you probably all know, chapter 25 is the pivotal moment in the story, the one where we learn if Zelda will remain a regular girl and move back to Lakeside or become the queen of Hyrule. I can afford to tell you that the title for chapter 25 is 'Princess', because that could have been the title of any chapter since chapter 6. I'll be posting it within the next week or so.

You'll have to accept that you'll know the titles of chapters 26 and 27 only once they're released. Can't tell you too much, after all. ;)

And what of the whole story? You noticed (and many complained and/or sobbed) that the action between Zelda and Link was agonizingly slow, that Link was too perfectly blank, that the romance was a tease more than anything for a whole 21 chapters. And then, wham, chapter 22 has an unexpected (but very well-received) end. How can the romance evolve from there? Can it possibly all happen in the last three chapters?

As I write this, the full Word document for Only in Hyrule, along with the accompanying Word document entitled OiH plan, in which I have placed every necessary note regarding the chapters and characters, are opened on my taskbar. I am busy writing chapter 26. Chapter 25 is complete, though it may use a final, minute revision to ensure no slip-up or inconsistency has occurred, which I will do when I upload the unpolished document to ff.net to add opening and ending author's notes.

Only in Hyrule has surpassed all my expectations by far.

It is undoubtedly the longest story I have written in my whole life. I'd done multi-chaptered stories before, but never of this amplitude. Admittedly, I never thought I could find the courage to write such a long story as I'm a real coward for literary commitment.

Because that's what multi-chaptered stories are: a commitment. They're an uncertain vow you take that you're going to bring the story to a close. So few people actually do that, because it's not easy. I didn't think I could do it either. I'm so much more of a oneshot addict.

Seriously. It's so scary to know you have to finish something. It's always there in the background, taunting you, telling you that you shouldn't be writing that other thing, because you know you might lose interest in your first project.

The thing is, when your mind is trained to write oneshots, therefore flitting from one setting to another easily, and you tell a story at once, and you just have to finish the story in less than a week and you can post it immediately and never have to deal with it again, therefore allowing your imagination to move onto something else, it's bloody hard to divide your story-telling, and make each chapter enjoyable on its own while being part of a full storyline.

That's why OiH surpassed all my expectations. It may not be completely written yet, but I know it's complete. Sure, the words aren't all there yet, but I know that I won't quit so close to the end. And so OiH proved to me that I could actually commit myself fully to a single story and not stray (too much―*glances at Avid*).

It proved to me that I could handle long stories and make them enjoyable as much as oneshots.

Because I have no doubt OiH was/is enjoyable to you all. With an incomplete 24 chapters and 111 832 words, it's at 579 reviews and counting. It's at 24 822 hits, and in ten minutes, that number will be outdated. OiH was favourited 94 times and counting. 78 people have it on alert (not counting those who almost religiously keep an eye on it without leaving a visible trace).

And on nearly 580 reviews, I only got one comment that claimed to prefer my oneshots to my long stories.

OiH has surpassed all my expectations, and it's all thanks to you, the readers.

As such, I wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart and I welcome you to keep an eye on me in the future. I'm not done writing. OiH was a milestone, not a finish line.

Love,
CM

P.S. And before you ask, no, I don't know what I'll be writing next. Oneshots, maybe. Will I use TP? I don't know yet. It seems like blasphemy not to, but I'm worried for those who haven't finished the game yet. I'll be sure to let you know if I have plans, though. :)

Dreaming of a white... wait.

I don't think it'd be strange to ask "Why don't we have snow yet?" because it's a question everyone in Montreal is wondering about.

I mean, come on. It's the 24th of December and not even a speck of snow has managed to withstand our unusually warm weather. I'm not the kind to complain, but it kind of shames every single Christmas song I've been enduring for the past month and a half.

I mean... White Christmas, Snow, It's Cold Outside, Winter Wonderland, Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, etc. Yeah. They all are kind of work... if you have snow. But if the grass is still green and the squirrels are still making provisions and the ducks left only yesterday... Well, those songs? They're more of a bother than a way to enhance one's holiday spirit.

Not that I'm not in a holiday spirit. I totally am. I even got the Santa hat and everything. I listen to cheery songs. I know the lyrics to every single one of them (not, I'll admit, because I want to, but still).

I even gift-wrapped a brand new OiH chapter for you all to enjoy (it's not on the mantelpiece, but I'm sure if you look at the usual place, you'll find it).

(GO READ IT. NOW. Don't even read the rest of this text until you've read and reviewed chapter 23. GO.)

Heck, I'm looking forward to the family's Christmas party because once my cousins get their butts here, it'll be like the good ole days when we would flip the couches over and make houses with them. Or play tag between our parents' legs.

Actually, I have many fond memories of holiday parties.

They make me really glad that I don't have to flip the couches over anymore.

(You can skip this part if you don't want to read about how awesome I am. ^^ Just skip to the text in bold.)

I also started getting my final grades for the autumn session. Just so you know, the way it works is that they take your grade, factor in the group's strength and average, and give you a score for your whole session. Because of a lot of unknowns, you can't calculate your final score yourself, but you can situate yourself by comparing your grades to the group average made available to you. I'm pretty glad, because I'm above the group average in everything, and none of my grades are under 80% (I even got a 90%).

Art History: 7 pts more than the group average.
Video Tech.: 7 pts mttga.
Publicity: 7 pts mttga.
French: 28 pts mttga (I know! 0_0).

I'm missing Philosophy and US History, though. Still, if that ain't a cheerful holiday note, I seriously don't know what is. Because uni programs that are in high demand consider your college score when you apply to the program. The higher your score, the better you are, the higher your chances are of being accepted. :D I'm off on a good start.

OMG LINK MIGHT LEAVE. How dramatic! I enjoy making Zelda suffer far more than should be legal, but whatever. I figure you've all languished long enough, and it's about time something happened in the last five or six chapters.

Eeheehee.

One might ask, "But, CM, will Zelda and Link kiss again? Will they make-out? Will they have babies?"

I don't know! It's a mystery! Maybe I'll turn one of them into an alien and have them kidnap the other and take them to a private planet for all sorts of miscreant behaviours. Maybe I'll kill Link off. Maybe Zelda is actually a man. Who knows? Anything could happen at this point.

Say, the alien idea is beginning to sound rather interesting.

... Gotcha! You know I wouldn't make Link into an alien. He wouldn't look very nice with a laser gun and a silver spandex suit.

... Wait.

My brain is overheating because it worked up an image and I can't help the drool.

Seriously, though, it's not like it's such a mystery that the story is a happy-ending Zelink. The biggest question to ask is mostly, "If Link wants to leave and Zelda screwed up, how will they get together again?"

God. It feels like such a sitcom. ;P

More holiday news later.

Love,
CM

Chapter delayed.

I got TP.

Self-explanatory.

Expect the chapter tomorrow morning.

Love,
CM

Celebrate good times, come on!

I finished my first college session!

To celebrate, all the people from my circle, all of us who used to go to the same high school and who now attend the same college (we're approx. 15 to 20 people in all), are meeting up at a local restaurant next week.

*dances gleefully*

Now that I no longer have projects and considering that I'm starting school again only on the 17th of January, I have five weeks to properly finish OiH!

I'm glad. That means I'll actually finish chapter 23 tonight! And maybe even start chapter 24!

Some stats about OiH (as cumulated by Microsoft Word) so far:

Chapters: 22.5 (not quite 23 complete chapters yet)
Pages: 179
Paragraphs: 3376
Lines: 7414
Words: 97 015
Characters: 434 270
Characters (with spaces): 527 996
Revision number: 32 767
Total editing time: 11 163 minutes (or 186.05 hours, or 7.75 days).

I too am shocked. What a great way to spend time, hm? I wonder how much cumulative time I spent writing on this computer. Probably a few weeks, or maybe a month or two.

At least I'm being productive.

Love,
CM

P.S. GC Zelda is out. I still have no Wii. I am ready to be shot.

P.P.S. But I finished my session so WHATEVER!

ZOMG!

You wouldn't believe it, but I posted chapter 21 of OiH. At long, long last.

I know. I am astonished at myself.

Even more astonished that I managed to finish chapter 22 yesterday, for good. And I even started chapter 23.
Think about it, people. I actually stopped procrastinating long enough to work and be productive.

I know.

I was so shocked at myself that I had to calm my nerves by buying myself a skirt for New Year's. My family and I are going to a hotel for a chic party with a bunch of family friends. It should be nice, in spite of the fact that I suspect no hot guys will attend it (if you don't count the hot waiters, but they'll be too busy to care, most likely).

Whatever. At least I'll dress to kill, since I'm old enough to have curves and still young enough for nothing to droop, even a little.

Anyway, I bought that skirt. It cost me exactly CAN 62.67 $, at Le Château. So what if no man will see it? At least I'll be able to say they missed something and not be BS-ing it.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to justify my choice. I'm especially touchy where saving money is concerned, and I do not consider shopping a particularly pleasant (or relaxing) activity. Mostly I do it to follow my girlfriends who are shopping spree athletes.

Which I am not. I prefer to shop alone. Because then I can try on the stuff my friends would say is 'too classical, why don't you try this highligher pink shirt instead???' and buy for my own tastes.

Now I have to look through my stuff for a top to go with it. Easy, since it's a striped charcoal, sexy but sophisticated straight skirt. White or coloured tops will do.

In other news, my parents have decided to renovate my bedroom. That means they're replacing my single bed by a queen-sized one and repainting my walls.

I agreed to a chocolat-au-lait paint for two walls, with the other two walls, ceiling and trims being painted in a neutral vanilla colour. And because those are very neutral colours, I want to highlight them with accessories of a random light colour. I haven't decided between blue, purple or red yet.

And, since you want to know, my previous decoration was a tropical theme, with bright turquoise walls, a huge photography mural of a beach, white decorations, and plenty of colourful flowers. And straw mats. And a hammock chair.

But it was getting old and I wanted something a little more peaceful. And warm.

... Whoops, I think I have an exam in Publicity tomorrow. I should get to studying, even though I already know most details.

Like the AIDA formula (Attention, Interest, Desire, Action), which is the basic principle for selling a product using publicity, but which I have applied to my human relations lately. Which might explain why I've been getting a little more looks from the opposite sex.

Hah, mere mortals. Fear my AIDA formula.

Love,
CM

P.S. In recounting the number of character names used in OiH, I found out I used a staggering 103 names (only 13 of which you have yet to be introduced to... but you'll see how familiar they are) from the Legend of Zelda series. That's a bit more than my intended 75. Not that I'm complaining.

Meep-meep.

Another proof of my naiveness came in the form of my not getting a Wii this morning (or Twilight Princess, for that matter).

Because I thought we would have more than a mere 50 Wii consoles at our local Wal-Mart to fill the needs of 900 families.

In conclusion, I do not have a Wii, nor do I have Twilight Princess. Which means (unbelievably) that I have not started playing with either. Which means I have no idea what the plot is.

Do not, please, feel any compunction to debate on this matter with me. It has put me in a foul mood and anyone foolish enough to attempt a spoilerific discussion with me will get a lovely 'Up Yours' message, the contents of which I will not discuss in this blog.

The upside of it all is that I can now focus with blind rage on Only in Hyrule, and maybe even hope to finish chapter 22.

Of course, now I have to wonder how to avoid stupid reviews like, "ZELDA DIES AT THE END OF TWILIGHT PRINCESS! HAHAHAHA!!!" (Dramatization only. As mentioned above, I have no idea what the plot is. Aside from the fact that it's bloody awesome.)

I think a threat along the lines of "Spoil the plot for me and you will receive no updates until I buy a Wii and play through TP completely. Considering my patience and propensity for slow appreciation, this means 'a long, long time'," would do the job nicely.

That said, I am still traumatized by the Christmas songs I hear at my job. There is something extremely disturbing in hearing a man interpret "Santa Baby", the lyrics of which are so sexual you're like, "OMG, SANTA'S GAY TO THIS DUDE!"

Which, you know. Isn't reassuring if you think that Santa also loves children.

(Santa cutie, won't you please bring a Wii tonight?)

Back to work. Ugh.

Love,
CM

Edit: Spanish version of So Like Link, as translated by Dialirvi! Awesomeness.