I know, I know.

No chapter this week. I know. Here's my (pathetic but true) explanation.

1. I've been struggling to find off time to write, even to the point of writing during exam revisions, in my notebook (unfortunately not a Fairy notebook offered to me by a certain Hylian hero), thus earning me suspicious glances from my teachers. But whatever. I have the right to write if I so please, and besides, how will they prove I'm not taking notes, right?

2. My session exams are coming up. Considering how crucial these exams are (if I want to pass this session and move onto my Winter session), I can only write so much in my notebooks during revision time without actually paying attention to what the teachers are saying. I don't think concluding my session comes second to writing (though it's a close match, as you might've guessed).

3. I spent the past two days reading my latest aquired novels (two of Meg Cabot's newest novels, How to Be Popular and the sequel to Size 12 is Not Fat, Size 14 is Not Fat Either), both of which, by the way, were delectable and totally worth falling behind in writing. (Now, if Cooper Cartwright from Size 14 weren't such a completely hot fool, I'd be even better off--I can't believe what he does at the end of the book. Gawd. *slaps Cooper Cartwright silly*)

4. I "wasted" time talking about music beats and styles with Slim and Guy. Notice the quotation marks above the 'wasted', please. To most people, our talk was boring or even downright obsessively geeky (well, it would be if Slim weren't too good-looking to be a proper geek), but it was, in fact, very informative to the musically deficient person that I happen to be. And you'll be glad I took the time to talk to them when chapter 24 comes around.

5. I made a big effort to be nice to Bass, and he seems to have moved on properly. Properly meaning he's got his sights set on another girl and still finds the glee to send me big grins, as he used to. Awesome.

6. I've been stalking my insider source to find out when the next Wii shipment would be hitting a local retail store. Still no info, but he promised to let me know as soon as possible.

7. Projects. All over the place! Thankfully, my teammate and I finished analysing this Wonderbra ad, which you can see here...

And kicked much ass, I believe (easy stuff, the ad was fun to analyse).

8. Since our college has been struggling to figure out whether or not to become part of the Student's Syndicate of Québec, they've been doing promotion and asking us to vote. Unfortunately, the promoters are bloody annoying, interrupting all our conversations and asking us if we got pamphlets, do we want pamphlets, they've got plenty of pamphlets, they can tell us all about it and do we have enough pamphlets?

This guy interrupted a conversation I was having with Slim about tempo, and we just stared at him until he stopped talking and ended in a mumble (I wasn't glaring at him, but Slim was). Then, in a small voice, he asked us, "Do you have pamphlets?"

To which Slim replied, "Yeah. We got pamphlets. So many pamphlets that I'm thinking of turning them into wallpaper."

This, of course, caused the guy to walk away quickly and apologetically, PB and I to burst out laughing, and Slim to turn back to me and continue his speech about why Mike Portnoy is such a drumming genius.

Today, I was not graced with Slim's presence, but I was sitting with Kitty and PB, when suddenly Guy jogs up to our table and sits down conspiratorially.

Guy: "The dreadlocks syndicate promotion guy is coming this way and I've got the best plan ever."
PB: "This better be good."
Guy: "It is."

I should mention Guy is the master of randomness and an expert in the Absurd. The following suggestion did not surprise me in the least.

Guy: "We have to freak him out."
Kitty: *over her biology homework* "He wears dreadlocks and he's twice your size. He could probably crush you into a witless mass of debilitated cells."
Guy: "See, that's where you don't get my point. We can freak him out without actually talking to him." He gets a mad glint in his eye. "Let's be freaks."

PB and I, by now far too accustomed to Guy's insanity, hardly blink.

Me: "What do you suggest?"
Guy: "When he comes, we make up something crazy. You know. A random conversation."
PB: "Like... anything?"
Guy: "Precisely."

We all glance at Dreadlocks Promoter Guy, who has moved over by one table. If he keeps this way, he'll be there any minute.

Guy: "CM, you start with something insane."
Me: *off the top of my head* "You mean... The re-militarization of Rhenany before the 3rd Reich?"
Guy: "Yes. Awesome." He thinks hard. "Yes. Rhenany."

DPG has moved onto the table next to us, and judging by their lack of interest, he'll be by us in no time.

Guy urges PB and Kitty to join in our discussion, giving us a basic outline of what we should say.

Dreadlocks boy comes over and stands by our table, wondering when he can break into our conversation. And we let loose.

Me: "So, I think it's scandalous. That whole thing about Rhenany's re-militarization."
Guy: *pensively* "I can't say I agree. I mean, what are your thoughts on depression?"
Me: "Aren't those the ones that cause hurricanes?"
Guy: "Hurricanes and tornadoes! It's my opinion they shouldn't be legal."

DPG lifts a finger and opens his mouth to speak, but Guy interrupts him.

Guy: "Wait a sec, man." To PB, he asks, "PB, what do you think? Should hurricanes be legal?"
PB: *having taken his answer verbatim from Kitty's biology book* "In this photo we see a giraffe eating the remains of a small mammal."
Guy: "Well said. I think we can therefore conclude that―"
All: *having agreed on this verbal cue to unite and speak* "Weeeeiiiieeeeeiiieee."
Me: *following Guy's suggestion* "In fact, in John-Paul 8, verse 39, it is said Mitch must be Fred Flintstone."
Kitty: *disbelieving* "No way."
Guy: *gravely* "I know. It's almost like a gestating zoomorph couple."
Me: "You tell me."
Guy: "In fact, in our lab report, we have to consider the cholesterol rise in relation to the *breaks off into sciency gibberish*"
Me: "Oh, yeah! That."
Guy: "Then you can easily add HCl and put some into your fruit juice!"
Kitty: *saying what Guy told her to say, word for word* "Plus, we can notice that a whale's fin is a color found in the spectre of the yellow, red or orange."
All: *again* "Weeeeiiiieeeeeiiieee."
Guy: *to DPG* "Say, man, are you part of the SS Dreads?"

Before DPG can even answer him, Guy cuts him off.

Guy: "Because I think a teleportation device is something that must be invented."
All: "Aaaamen."

This is as far as we had planned, but DPG looked disturbed enough by then. The trick was, of course, to try not breaking into fits of tearful hilarity.

DPG: *unsure* "Um... so... do you have, like... pamphlets?"
Guy: *enthusiastically* "Enough to fill my hamster's cage fifty times." Even though, you know. He doesn't own a hamster.
DPG: "So... um... you don't want any more?"
Guy: "*still as cheerfully* "Nope! But do you have any macaroons?"
DPG: "Um. No. But do you think we should make some?"
Guy: "Man. No wonder everyone's been pulling your leg. You obviously need macaroons. Pretty ones. With hilighter colors."
DPG: "Um. Okay. I'll, um... take it up to my syndicate."

He leaves. Fast.

Which is just as well because by then we were doubled over trying to hold down our laughter, to the point where we were tearing at the eyes and all red in the face. When at last he was gone, we burst into hilarity, howling with laughter.

Guy: "Oh, man. That was totally worth it."

So. That's why there's no chapter this week. But there might be one next week. In fact, there will be one next week. So that I force myself to actually finish chapter 22.

Love,
CM