Better than a season finale?

A conversation as it occurs between Lyx and I:

WELL WELL WELL!??!?!

Okay, so get ready for a long story; if you don't have time, it's not a good idea.

Story me! I'll read as I clean and pack.

Okay.

So I was getting ready to go to Moe's when the phone rings, and it's Slim.

He's like, "Hey, I have a favour to ask. I'm driving tomorrow morning up to Tremblant with Rick and I don't really want to spend gas on two ventures. Otherwise I'd have lifted you. But can you lift me?"

So I said, "Sure, we'll come pick you up."

And so we did; there was heat lightning on the horizon as I waited for him to grab his stuff (this is important for later).

He's healed, pretty much, by the way. His stomach is as good as new, I think.

Hooray!!!

Anyhow, we got to Moe's at quarter to eleven; it was still mostly empty (a surprising fact; Fridays are usually busy as hell). So Slim and I wandered around, and decided to go bug Gabriel because he's a waiter there, in the "club" area. (There are four sections to Moe's: the club area, with the dance floor and stage, the balcony over the club area, the lobby, and the bar.)

(got it)

So we go bug Gabriel, and then Slim suggests we go upstairs, because the band last night was REALLY loud and we couldn't hear each other properly.

So we climb up from the lobby into the bar, and I spot Ban, Rick with his (underage) girlfriend, and Guy. We chat a little, and I become further acquainted with Steph (Rick's girlfriend), because she's a good kid and all. I'd only met her once before. I suggest that she and I spend our free drinks coupons on Alabama Slammers, because those are the best drinks known to mankind. This, by the way, was to avoid hanging onto Slim all the time. And also to have fun.

So we wander around with our drinks, and eventually Rick comes up and suggests we go onto the balcony to watch the band.

I decided to follow Rick and Steph, and Slim follows with Guy. We take a table on the balcony but don't stay very long because 1. we spotted PB, 2. we spotted Amy downstairs, and 3. it's so loud we can't hear anything.
Guy and Rick leave to say hi to PB, but Slim decides to follow me down to talk to Amy.

We get next to the stage and I see Amy, her younger sister, and two of her friends, whom I'd never met before. In a lull between songs, we're introduced.

And the first thing one of the girls asks, while indicating Slim and I, is, "So is he your boyfriend?"

To which Slim and I automatically say, "No!" Because it's the truth. Although how do you say that without either sounding disgusted or depressed? We did our best and the girl apologized. She was like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to assume---"

But Slim and I just waved it off. I was like, "Don't worry, it happens." And he's like, "It's true we tend to give off that vibe to strangers." And we all laughed and everything was dandy.

So we wander around some more; I was about to suggest we go up onto the balcony again, but Slim didn't look too sure. He leaned into my ear to shout, "But we can't talk up there! It's too loud!"

So, happy that he actually wanted to talk with me, I agreed and we went back into the bar instead. There, we pushed two tables together and we were eventually joined by plenty of people (Ban, Guy, Rick, Steph, PB, and, later, Anthony, AA, Iva, Maria, and Melanie).

Anthony, by the way, wanted Slim and I to get blind stinking drunk. He'd bought a pitcher of beer and poured himself a glass, then tried to press Slim into drinking. That is, until I reminded Anthony, oblivious as he is, that Slim wasn't supposed to drink, on account of his stomach.

To quell Anthony's disappointment, Slim relented and took one glass of beer, but nothing else. But then Anthony turned his "wrath" onto me, and poured me a tall one.

I wasn't really up for drinking, but he insisted. So I started sipping, and grimaced, because I hate beer; ours is WAY too strong.

Slim saw me grimacing (he was sitting next to me), and leaned in and said, "You know, the best way to make beer drinkable is to down it all in one go." He then added, before I could say anything, "But it'll likely hit you like a drunken missile."

Still, I had to test it; I started drinking it all in one go, and Slim watched me do so with wide eyes, going, "Et glou et glou et glou et glou..." like in that song.

I put the empty glass down, and said, "Hey, you're right! It DOES go down easy like that."

He shrugged with a laughing smile and said, "Yeah, that's the trick."

Anthony, of course, having not noticed me downing the beer, turned his head away from Rick, and looked down at the table, and said, "What the hell CM downed her glass!!!" And proceeded to fill it again, proudly.

It took all of two minutes for my first glass to take effect. I immediately got really cheerful and giggly. But I downed the second glass all the same.

After the second glass, it took me five minutes to be waaaay tipsy. I was really happy, but I was dizzy as hell. And feeling awesome. Slim was watching me with shared amusement and fear. Anthony, on his part, was really, really proud.

I kept talking with Steph, though, and we exchanged on how she's got more experience in drinking than I do, and how I'm a wuss who can't tank and so on. I didn't really care about saying the truth; I don't feel judged with these people anyway. But of course, the more time passed, and the more I realised that downing two full glasses in less than ten minutes was not a good idea. Because I was waaaaay tipsy.

So I turned to Slim and said, "Slim. You are now my official protection against rapists."

He pointed to Anthony with a raised brow, à la 'you mean this rapist?' Because Anthony DOES get demonstrative with me when he's drunk, kissing me sloppily (on the cheek or in the neck) and kissing my wrists and whatnot.

I like this Anthony character.

(Wait, though, something happened later on with him.) And I laughed and nodded, because that's what we joke about. And then I added, "Also, Slim, I am drunk." Because it had hit me, and I was drunk. "You must keep me from drinking now."

He laughed. "Why would I do that?"

So I squinted at him tipsily and said, "Wait. Yoouu're the rapist, aren't you?"

And he waggled his brows and waggled his tongue with a suggestive look, which, in my hilarious tipsiness, was hilarious.

OHMYGOD. At one point, he made this REALLY bad pun.

I don't know if I mentioned that my family has a curse where they make REEEEAAAALLY bad puns?

Yup.

I was cringing and telling Slim, "Dude, no, please. That was horrible."

And he laughed and said, "You know, if we had kids, they'd be screwed up, between me and your parents."

!!!!

Because of the bad puns!

IF WE HAD KIDS. KIDS!

HE SAID THIS. WHILE LAUGHING. I was amazed (and torn).

But then Anthony poured me another glass from the pitcher, and Slim stopped pretending he was a rapist and leaned forward with a categorical, "No, Anthony. That's enough."

Anthony, of course, protested. "What? Look, man, it's her liver, let her drink, man. You're not even well enough to drink, so at least let HER have fun."

I instinctively reached for the glass, and Slim turned to me and said, pointedly, "CM, you told me to stop you."

And I said, "Oh my god, yes. Thank you so much."

I put the glass back down, and all the guys are the table (except Slim, who looked satisfied) made noises of disapproval and frustration.

Steph leaned towards me, took my glass, and said, "CM, I will help you. I'm doing this, just for you, okay?" She started drinking, but couldn't finish it. Half of it was still left. She was disgusted. "Beer," she said, "is gross."

Yep.

So, at Rick's gentle urging, I downed the rest of it while Slim wasn't looking.

Hahahahahaha

I was now over the top tipsy. And veeeerrry happy about it. In all, it was decided that three glasses of beer in twenty minutes was my limit.

So when Slim noticed I was even drunker, he squinted at me and said, "We are getting you something to eat." He indicated Bravo's pizza across the parking lot (We were near the windows), and said, "I'm starving. Wanna go eat?"

I said, "Okaay!" And laughed like an idiot.

By the way, I'm not proud of my drunkeness. I act and sound really childish and stupid.

Anthony overheard us talking about food, and said, "Hells yes, we've gotta eat. My treat, folks."

And so, PB, Rick, Steph, Anthony, Slim and I stood from the table to get some food. Well, I stumbled a little, and Steph held me up. I thanked her profusely, embarrassed out of my mind, and did my best to walk straight. You know, it's hard to walk straight, even when you're trying. And I was glad they'd installed a ramp in the staircase because I was swaying weirdly.

Goooooood job.

I followed Anthony out the door, and we headed towards Bravo's. I was wandering a bit oddly, but the guys kept an eye on me. We made it inside the restaurant, and Anthony ordered food for us, paying for everything. I was grateful and drunk; I kissed him on the cheek.

Then, I slumped down onto the bench next to Anthony. It was an outer-corner bench, so while the guys were facing the counter, I actually had a long stretch of bench behind a column to lay down on. So, seeing as I couldn't sit up properly, I just fell back and stared at the ceiling. I counted three sleeping flies.

Are you sure you weren't seeing triple?

No, no, they were all in different spots. I didn't see double or anything. I just had trouble moving properly. And carrying my own weight. But yeah. I was okay.

Happens. …So this was when Slim dove on top of you and began to make passionate love to you, right?

(No.) So I was happily looking at the ceiling while we waited for our take-out to be ready; Anthony chatted the waitress up, PB was reading the newspaper, I think, and Slim was just staring into space. I think. I couldn't see them; I'm just assuming.

Eventually, Anthony, who was the only one who could actually see me, commented, to Slim, "Hey, Slimdees, your girlfriend is passed out on the bench."

I wasn't passed out; I was just staring fixedly at the ceiling. I said, weakly, "I'm not passed out, jerk."

And Slim said, "If she's my girlfriend, Anthony, then you are in love with Melanie."

Melanie and Anthony kind of have the same thing as Slim and I do going on. Except I suspect Melanie and Anthony don't want to jump the other's bones, the way I do Slim.

Anyhow, the two of them argued over whether Slim and I were an item, and I got tired and just went to pee in the bathroom. It was a weird experience and when I came back, they had stopped arguing. So we got our food, eventually, and went outside to eat on the sidewalk. Steph was kind enough to cut the pizza for me, because my fingers were like jelly, and I kept giggling like an idiot.

Anthony, on his part, eyed me weirdly from time to time, saying, "You are really drunk, CM."

I was like, "Yeeeeessss! Heehee!"

I was eating a slice of pizza, when Rick, who was sitting near Steph and I, said, to me, "You know, some day I'm going to have to have a word with you."

I frowned. "A word? With me? About what?" I presumed he meant about my being drunk, but it didn't make sense because I hardly ever get drunk.

But Rick shook his head. "Not here, not now." And then he threw Slim a look over my head (Slim and Anthony were talking about day camp or something), and I knew.

Rick wanted to know about my feelings for Slim.

I immediately felt sick to the stomach, but I decided I'd quell the inquiry before it got out of hand. And my tipsiness gave me the courage I needed. So I said, cheerfully, "Well, if you want to ask me stuff, you know, I'm tipsy. I might be reeeeeaaally straightforward."

This was what Rick apparently wanted, because he looked around, then said, "Wanna have a word right now?"

I eyed Steph and said, "She'll be jealous."

She and Rick laughed, and they both said, "No, don't worry."

So Rick helped me up, and I walked after him until we had gone behind the building and out of sight from Slim and Anthony and PB.

"So what is it?" I ask, cheerfully, knowing very well what he was going to ask.

Rick adopted a grave, direct look. "CM. I was wondering something, and you can tell me only if you want to. But out of curiosity... I was wondering what it is, exactly, that you feel for Slim."

I played dumb. "Oh." I looked alarmed and embarrassed, even. "I didn't expect that." Which was the lie of the century.

Rick panicked. "Look, you know you don't have to tell me anything. But I just wanted to know--"

"Rick." And here I was waaay more serious than I ought to be when I'm drunk. I stared at him gravely and asked, "Rick, assuming I say something of any value, what do you intend to do with the information?" Was he going to report it to Slim? I needed to know, right?

Rick shook his head innocently. "No, CM, I'd never. It's just... for my own personal curiosity. I promise."

I wasn't sure whether I ought to believe him or not, so I played it safe instead.

"Look, I'll be very straightforward with you," I say. "Rick, if anything is going to happen between Slim and I, or anyone and I, whether or not it's likely or unlikely, whether it happens tomorrow or a long time from now, or even not at all, when it happens, if it happens, I have sworn to myself that I'd tell whoever it concerns first. If I fall in love with him, he'll know. And then you'll know. The whole world will know. But I can't tell you anything, because it's between the person I like and me, and I categorically refuse to use messengers. I've always been it, and I--"

"You don't want to make people endure that." Rick looks at me seriously but with a lot of respect.

"Exactly. And Rick, trust me, I'm sure if anything happens, you and the guys will know. But until then, if 'then' ever comes, please..."

Rick looks understanding, and he seems to relent. "Alright, okay. I was just asking. It's 'cause, you know... I kind of noticed a few things that..." He breaks off and hesitates.

I laugh. "You wouldn't be the first. Everyone says that."

He laughs too, and we head back to the others. He helps me sit down, and I notice that Slim, as he explains something to Anthony and PB, is making sure that I'm okay. Like, that I'm not upset or anything.

But I'm laughing and trying to calm the really erratic beating of my heart.

The guys hardly ever ask me anything about Slim. The girls do it all the time, but the guys... that was the first time they were serious about it.

I'm trying to stay light-hearted and cheerful, joking around with Steph, when Rick says something I now wish I'd forced him to continue with:

"It's just," he said, softly to me, "that I think I know something you might consider very interesting and good to know."

And, instead of asking him to explain fully, I whined drunkenly, "Whaaat? I have to get up again?"

I still hate myself for it. I'm such an idiot. I should have stood up with all my strength, dragged Rick back behind that building, and beat the information out of him. Because right after that, the conversation swerved and the guys decided to go back into Moe's for another drink.

Rick and PB looked at Slim and I (Anthony was already heading off), and asked, "Sooo..."

And PB said something lightly but somewhat curiously, "So are the two of you going to follow us... or do we meet inside Moe's?"

Like... how had they known Slim and I wanted to have a chat?

Slim motioned. "We'll join you."

So Rick, PB and Steph wandered off, pretending nothing was up.

After that, Slim and I started wandering in the parking lot, and generally heading back towards that alley with the park at the end. It's like ‘our’ spot.

I said, "Sooo... We were supposed to talk, but my mind is weird right now. What was it about?"

Slim was looking at me directly, his brown eyes absolutely beautiful (and maybe this is the alcohol talking), and said, "About how we disagree with our friends' romantic behaviours?"

I was surprised. I thought he meant to continue telling me that story he’d started last week. But hell, I wasn't going to change the subject. We started discussing how Ban and Drew don't know what respect is all about and so on and so forth.

And when the time came to choose whether we would head towards the park or back towards Moe's, I said, "Left or right?"

And he said, "To the park. I feel like talking."

More like MAKING OUT

(Will you please? :-P) We wandered down the road, and I said, "You know something that breaks my heart? How we found this park on our own and now everyone knows about it. It's not a secret anymore."

He agrees. "Yeah. This is OUR park. WE found it."

And we go on about how awesome we are, and how we both need to have some form of secrecy in our lives, and places to retreat to, and how we wanted the park to remain our secret.

Then, I looked up at the sky, and said, "Another mystery is why I like stars so much."

"Maybe it's because of the movie... Stardust?"

He's never seen Stardust, by the way.
But the fact that he remembered how much I love it is kind of awesome.

"Naaah, if I liked stars because of Stardust," I say, a little drunkenly, "it's because I'd be a lesbian. The stars are female. But I'm not a lesbian," I say, "so I don't know."

"Are we heading into the park, or towards the bleachers?" Slim asks.

"I dunno..."

Into the woods! The wooods!!!!!

(I wanted that too, but then he said: ) "The bleachers," he finally decides, steering me aside. "It's the talking spot."

Which, you know. AAARGH. But I let him guide me, and we finally get there.

"If the police comes by," he says, indicating his white button-down, "they'll spot me. I'm wearing white."

I was wearing black, so I said, "You'll hide behind me." and laughed.

He snickered. "I'm a leeetle bit bigger than you, though."

"Oh well, then. Guess we'll have to throw ourselves down in the grass and keep low."

"Right."

We sat in the bleachers, but I couldn't sit still. I was tipsy and WAAAY energetic.

So I kept climbing drunkenly to the top of the bleachers, then I'd wander back, then I'd sit veeery close to him, then I'd jump up and I'd stand in front of him, then I'd run up to the chain link fence and climb it, then jump down and so on.

I was like a ball of talking energy.

And, indeed, we talked.

He said he was miserable. I asked him why. He said, "Because I want to be in a relationship. I'm really good boyfriend material."

*choke*

He didn't mean it like, 'I want us to go out' though. He just said it generally. And I said, "I know you are. You're sweet and sensitive and I'm sure you have the potential to be excellent in all fields." I tried to cheer him up. I was like, "Slim, you're going to get a good girl some day."

And, because I was leaning REEAALLY close to him, I darted away or else I'd have started kissing him and I wasn't sure that would be a good idea, since I was drunk and not in possession of my full sense of judgment.

So I stood on the bench where he was sitting, some one meter off the ground, and he looked up at me in alarm as I swayed, and reached out uncertainly and said, "You know, I don't think that's a very good idea while you're drunk."

Meaning my standing on a bench and swaying uncertainly.

Instead of answering that, I asked him, "Slim, what's your ideal girlfriend?"

He hesitated before answering, but I didn't see his face because I was walking around, climbing on stuff and all. Eventually, he said, "Well, a smart girl, I guess. One who understands me. I don't know."

I leaned over a bench towards him, like a little monkey. He snickered and added, "And it's better if she's not too girly."

I laughed. "Good to know."

"Girly-girls are cute and all, but it gets really--"

"--Annoying!" I finish for him, giggling like a kid.

"Yeah. And if she had enough self-worth to not go for an asshole, it'd be nice."

"Yeah, you don't want a girl who likes assholes."

"I know."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Actually, if she were strong enough to make the first move, it'd be great. I'm always--"

"--scared of rejection?"

"Yeah. And honestly, I'm the kind of guy who will immediately become friends with a girl. There's never that flirtatious period with me."

I know what he means. I'm like that too.

"So," I said, testing the terrain, "You need a girl who will make the first move, and who will initiate things to show you they're not all that bad." I mused. "Like, a girl who will get you into sex, and show you how to grow into it?"

He looked amazed I'd gotten it right. "Yeah. Exactly."

I jumped up from the bench again, and dropped a few rows lower. "Well, that's legitimate, I guess."

"Honestly, though," he says, "I don't have a list of qualities for the perfect girl."

I'm getting excited. "Yeah! I mean, I don't understand girls who make lists for THEIR perfect guy! How can you be so sure, anyway?"

He's laughing. "You're talking about Eva."

At this, we both start laughing. I climb back up towards him, and drop down in front of him, so that I'm close by.

And then I say, really randomly, "Hey! From here I'm right at the perfect level!"

Meaning that where I stood, I was perfectly level with his face as he sat.

His laughter died, and he looked at me warily. "You mean... perfect level for what?"

Like a drunken idiot, I didn't even say, ‘For us to make out!’. I said, "Now we see eye to eye!"

He didn't say anything about that; he just commented, "Because usually when people say that, it's because they're going to--"

"OH MY GOD HEAT LIGHTNING!" I say, when a flash on the horizon occurs.

I know.

I hate myself.

I hate myself so, so much.

-_-

Slim dropped the subject after that. He returned to somewhat safer waters and said, "You know, I'm looking forward to a day when a girl will actually want me for me, flaws and all."

I said, "That's what love is. Loving someone because of who they are as a whole."

We made a few general agreement sentences before Slim eventually says, "You know, we should probably get back. They'll be wanting to know we're still alive."

I laughed. "And if we stay out here longer, they'll think we're making out." I then said something really embarrassing to him. I said, "Then we should give them something to freak over. My bra is pearl-grey, with a silver clasp in the front. And my panties are black lace. What colour are your boxers?"

"Blue, with the adjectives on 'em." He was highly amused.

"Oooooh those! I love those!"

"Yeah, they're kind of awesome."

"Well, so yeah. If anyone asks, just tell them that. It'll be hilarious."

He chuckled. "Right." He helped me up, and we walked back out.

...

I am so dumb.

YOU. ARE. STUPID.

I
KNOW
VERY
WELL

guhhhhhh

As we walked back, though, he said, "I thought of something that would probably piss me off."

I asked, "What?"

"Imagine that a lot of guys wanted to ask you out, or a lot of girls wanted to ask me out, and they never made a move because they all thought we were dating, you and I."

I laughed, but I was freaking out. "Ha. Yeah, that would, er, suck."

"But then," he said, "it's not like they have a chance of coming even close to the kind of friendship we have, so..."

We congratulated ourselves... and then I blurted out, "Rick asked me how I felt about you."

He said, "Oh. Well. They do that."

"It's the first time a guy asked me so seriously. Girls do it all the time, but--"

"Well, the guys kind of harass me, so yeah."

"I said that if anything were to happen--"

"--I'd be the first to know, right?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, of course. I always say the same thing." He laughs.

At this point, we're back in front of Moe's. It's 1:30AM, and everyone's already ready to go.

Guy tells us everyone is going to be out soon, and five minutes later, Anthony has joined us as well as Rick and Steph.

Anthony is drunk by now.

hahaha

He asks Slim, "Hey, Dees, canna have a cigar?"

Because he, PB, Iva and Slim usually smoke those mini-vanilla cigars. Not a lot, but it just so happened that Slim had a pack with him.

Slim said, "No, Anthony, no cigars for you."

Anthony got pissed. "What? Why the hell not?"

And Slim replied, "Because I've given you enough already." Anthony got very pissed. They started arguing. Slim tried to keep his cool. He calmly replied, "No, Anthony, I am not going to give you any. And you should stop insulting me." When he's drunk, Anthony's rude and aggressive. But Slim held his end.

Eventually, when Anthony saw that he was getting nowhere with Slim, he turned to me (I was sitting next to Slim and slowly sobering up) and said, "You. CM. Convince him to give me a cigar."

I was with Slim on this one. "What would you even expect me to do to change his mind?"

Anthony snorted. "I don't know, give him a blowjob."

At this, Slim went livid. He leaned towards Anthony and said, "Apologize. Right now."

Anthony went defensive. "Dude, come on, I'm drunk, it's just a joke."

"Don't blame things on being drunk. People still mean the things they say, even when they're drunk. You are being disrespectful towards my friends and I don't tolerate that."

"Chill out, dude, you know I didn't mean it--"

"I've known her for years, Anthony. Apologize for what you said. She's not a thing. She's CM. She deserves respect on your part, seeing as she always takes care of you and makes sure you're okay."

It took a long time, but eventually, Slim broke Anthony, and Anthony turned to me and said, earnestly, "CM, I'm sorry. What I said was disrespectful. I know you're not a thing, and I'm sorry for implying anything otherwise."

Slim seemed pleased by this.

So, when we drove him home, I stepped out of the car, and hugged him. "Thank you for taking my defence earlier, with Anthony."

He shook his head. "It's okay. Of course I did."

"And please," I say, lowering my voice, "next time I get drunk, slap me."

He looks grave, but a small smile is tugging at his lips. "I would never, CM. I would never hurt you."

HE LOVES YOU.

I hopped back into the car, and he said, "By the way, I'm heading downtown next Sunday -- day after paintball, remember? Anyway, wanna go with me?"

"Yes, I need to go too."

"Perfect. So... um, I'll see you."

"Okay. Bye. "

And he closed the door, thanked my mother with a nod and a smile, waved at Maria who was in the backseat (we were driving her home too), then walked away.

Anyway, yeah. That was last night.

YOU.
NEED.
TO.
MAKE.
YOUR.
MOVE.
Like, TONIGHT.

I won't see him tonight, though. He's in Tremblant with Rick. Also, yes, I am now 85% convinced he loves me. I could hardly sleep, I was so happy.

:]
Tomorrow night?

Can't see him tomorrow night either (don't want him to think I'm addicted, even though I so totally am). But I'm seeing him all weekend next week, so it's cool.

Works. That gives you a whole week to build up the anticipation.

Hell yes.

He also wants to give me lifts to the train station so we'll travel together every single day next year at university. I told him I'd think about it.

But yeah, next time we're out together, alone, I'm kissing him, everything else be damned.

Don't get too drunk. Stay as sober as he does. So that, you know, he's not like "nooo".

Yeah, his sense of morals is damnable sometimes. A lesser man would totally have jumped me by now. Anyway, OBVIOUSLY I'm an idiot when I drink.

But still, I personally think last night was very... er, revealing.

: )

Gaaaaaaaaah I am in looooooove it's such a silly feeling… I FEEL LIKE I'M IN SOME ROMANCE ONESHOT. EXCEPT EVERY DAY IS A NEW ONESHOT.

*headdesk*

Love,
CM